I actually RLY admire Belarus. xD BECAUSE SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ABLE TO SCARE RUSSIA. O.O

BELARUS FTW!

Haha, the Baltic...the three countries are so useless! xD Soooo scared of Russia!

Is there a reason why Russia refuses Belarus's hand in marriage?~ I'm too lazy to search...

HAHA! YOU CAN HEAR UKRAINE'S BOOBS WHENEVER SHE DOES SOME ACTION. HILARIOUS! Is it true, that they have big-breasted women there or something?

SHALL I EMPHASIZE ON HOW GHEYGHEYGHEYGHEYGHEYGHEY THE ANIME REALLY IS?! 07-GHOST I MEAN.

WATCH IT, AND KILL YOURSELF OVER THE GAYNESS. I SWEAR IT'S EVEN GAYER THAN KKM, IF POSSIBLE.

Just asking though, WHY ARE THERE NO DOUJINS ON 07-GHOST?!?!?!?! T.T

I'VE BEEN WANTING TO SEE IT SO BAAAAAAAAAD. LOOKIE FRAU AND TEITO IN THE MANGA, THEY ARE ABOUT TO EFF EACH OTHER SENSELESS. I mean, at least Frau is. He's just being sneaky and going "ohgodthissoul" at Teito. And that dense boy hasn't even REALIZED that the freakin scythe is doing that...That ass-scythe, is going "THISSOULTASTESGOOD" and Frau's just "no bitch you can't fuckin have him".

And for goodness sake!!!! Frau's a bishop, why the hell is he pointing middle finger and being so goddamned rude?! Anyway, that makes him all the more sexier. Just...it's too inappropriate. And he's going against a Bishop's ways...Look, he's eating the soul to satisfy the scythe man.

Labrador, I swear, is effing ghey too. SOMEONE (I CANNOT REMEMBER HIS NAME) PROBABLY LOVED HIM LIKE SHIT. In the manga, that is. Read it, and you shall understand.

And CAPELLA IN THE MANGA IS SOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE~

Anymore ghey animes like this to recommend? I want to have a good laugh damnit!

Sometimes after seeing so much things in life, one reaches a point of understanding where one sees through many things. Of course, when I mean 'so much' it means beyond how much a 17-year old should really see. At least that's what I think.

I now see myself understanding a lot more than what I have been learning. Before this, all I understood was that being a student is quite lovely (as told by my mom especially), and studying is your top priority.

Now that I have been through many things, I've come to an understanding (not just knowing, but truly understanding) of what so many people meant. It's nice to be a student, especially when young because I didn't worry about so many other things. There is the joy of having friends around, spending time with them, going through studies with them, doing so many things so freely.

Now I feel I have lost so much of what 'freedom' is. The 'freedom' right now, in terms of entering adulthood, is the choice that you'll be making for yourself. The 'freedom' before, in terms of being a child, was to develop a way of thinking, that nobody can obstruct since a child is 'free' that way. The definition of 'freedom' changes so drastically as you enter adulthood, the word itself feels so foreign right now.

I am now free to do my own stuffs, already let go to do so much and accomplish things on my own. I have earned my own independence through the coming of age. Yet I still feel trapped within what I have been thinking.

I have listened to other people's problems before, and absorbed them all in, taking as much as I can in. As we get older, problems increase, which means I listen to so much more, and I realize that everyone is changing.

Though for me, I feel as if I haven't as much as taken half a step forward in life. People seem to be proceeding on with their problems, but I don't. At least I feel that I don't. I have been trying to make sense of the changes in this particular year, and so I conclude that it has been particularly eventful, this year. So much changes I don't feel like I'm myself anymore, and thus I think the 'old me' has been suppressed into somewhere else where I cannot find 'her'. Where has the carefree, happy, 'old me' gone to?

I never gave a thought about how feelings for someone else could truly change one's opinion. Now having experienced this sort of feeling, I think I could give more into this. 'give more' being giving in more thoughts, and probably actually finding a solution to this problem.

I think I have hung on to this for too long, without doing anything else. Really, I never thought of myself to have been defeated by my own feelings. Sure, I always knew that 'feelings' were strong, but not to the point of (sometimes) almost breaking me, ripping me apart. I could be exaggerating at this point, but before today's thoughts, this was how I am a couple of weeks ago: weak, breaking, pathetic.

But now I think things are different. I could take this in my stride already. I believe, at least, that I should take things in my stride, and not so much as breakdown easily. I think I already gave a thorough thought for this matter, and that even if I cannot get rid of the aching feeling within this chest of mine...I shall, still...

Accept. Embrace. Overcome.

Whoa man, I just finished watching 07-Ghost. Apparently it's too new to have announcements on the second season coming...

Anyway, just here to give a little review on the overall of this anime. Actually...

IT'S FUCKING GAY.

Yes that's all I have to say. ._.

...no I was kidding! Yes it's effing ghey, but anyone can watch it. SPOILERS UP AHEAD BITCHES.

Yes it's effing gheyyyyyyyGHEYGHEYGHEYgheyghey. I mean, c'mon, Frau must be lusting after Teito so fucking much he decides to get bitten by the 'promise collar' so he can get an excuse to stay near the boy. Goddamnit, just because he's a God and has unreleased sexual tension doesn't mean that he should just find someone as cute as Teito to screw! There's like, Castor and Labrador there! Take either of them!

Still, nevertheless, the final scene of the final episode. Ohgawdwin! Teito hugged Frau. I was like, WHAT IS THE POINT MAN HE JUST SAID SOMETHING AND ALL THAT, AND YOU HAD TO HUG HIM?! XD C'mon, Mikage's there to see! Just...hold it off and then get to some place to stay, chase Mikage away for the moment and then go screw each other like bunnies yeah?

But man, the tension and communication and all that between the two of them really makes many, even the straightest person, think they are effing ghey. Then there's Ayanami, who apparently cannot choose and lusts after both Teito (ohgodthatpedo) and Frau (Zehel)...

I also swear there's something going on between Labrador and Castor already, SINCE THEY ARE BOTH ALWAYS TOGETHER. Almost wherever...Maybe because of that Frau doesn't go near them...I swear Kouki Miyata-san has too cute a voice for any guy. He should effing take a girl's role.

THEN THERE'S FUKUYAMA JUN-SAN! WHO PLAYED HAKUREN OAK. HAHA SO FUNNEH! He gets like, either the funny-extreme sort of characters like Grell (Kuroshitsuji) or someone serious-extreme like Lulu (Code Geass). Except this one is obsessed with his own beauty sort of thing, and the typical 'hard to get along' bishounen. Who in the end also ends up lusting after Teito quite a bit, and gave him a hug too.

SPOILERS PRETTY MUCH END HERE ANYWAY.

WHAT IS THIS. THIS ANIME. SO FAR I HAVE ONLY COMMENTED ON GAYNESS. yes it is, but...anyway! The plot started moving only towards the end of this season, which is NOT GOOD. But the music has been pleasant, and pretty damn good. Watching this requires quite a bit of patience, so if anyone is thinking of watching this, just remember to prepare yourself, for the first season moves slowlyyyyy.

NOW I feel like breaking down. Or rather, just CRY IT ALL OUT. ALL THE UNHAPPINESS, FRUSTRATION, COMPLICATIONS OF EVERYTHING.

I dunno. Maybe it's just me too. Partially because of my worry for son. And if you are reading this son, no worries. It's not that I blame you, just...well.

And then there's other complications and stuffs like that.

One day, I will leave this place and spend a week or so relaxing.

And I don't want to grow up anymore. The more you do, the more you will WILL things away. I really want a good day just relaxing, and detaching myself from this whole madness.

Maybe I should just become a nun damn it. xD My mom wouldn't be against it anyway!

全部終わった！試験が終わった！

でも、今日の日本語は少し簡単すぎますのです！

問題１は、映画があリました。　そして、ただしdescriptionとそのえをペーアしてね。　(I probably am not making any sense. o.o)

ただ１時ぐらいにかかりました。　長くないですよ、リミットは１時半ですけど。。。

Anyway, I had my Math paper today too. I blanked out about halfway through and slowed down. T.T I SCREWED IT UP DESPITE IT BEING NOT SO VERY DIFFICULT. OF COURSE THERE WAS DIFFICULTY IN IT SOMEHOW, JUST...I JUST SORT OF SCREWED IT UP. T.T

ANYWAY. I finished it. There is nothing else of anything I can do anymore!

SCREW IT. IT'S DONE. I SHALL GO RELAX NAO.

I'm just waiting for my English paper to begin...

And it starts only a few hours later. Got up early today, and well, WISH THE HIGHER LEVELED PHYSICS STUDENTS GOOD LUCK. I really hate Physics man, as long as it's Math. BWAHAHAHA.

Therefore, I'm going to set out for school for English paper in about an hour. I just hope that the paper isn't too hard...xD

WISH ME LUCK. TODAY IS SECOND LAST DAY! 8D Tomorrow's papers are: Math and Japanese.

It's freakin gay. It actually isn't that hard? But if I had paid more attention (and liked the subject more) I would actually SCORE IN IT.

But never mind. MY STRESSFUL SUBJECTS ARE OVER! I only have Engrish, Math and a tiny part of Jap ab initio left! I'M HAPPY FOR THAT.

Anyway, decided to chill. So I reached home and watched an episode of Hetalia. xDDD

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. EPISODE 41! ENGLAND AND FRANCE ARE JEALOUS OF HOW CLOSE GERMANY AND ITALY ARE! GAHAHAHA. AND THEY ARE OFFICIALLY 'MARRIED'!

ANDAND. DID AMERIA -REALLY- TRY TO COLOR MT FUJI? I MEAN, AT LEAST GET THE IDEA OF COLORING IT SO THAT IT'LL LOOK RED AND FREAKY?!

ANDANDAND. RUSSIA INSULTED AMERICA'S MANHOOD! BWAHAHAH. I mean, did they really insult American men's manhood? Thing is, America's superior asked to order 25cm condoms, but Russia said it was too hard to make because it was so freakin small. LOL.

ANOTHER SUBJECT DOWN TODAY! I don't expect to do very well for Mandarin (despite it being my higher level...), but oh well. xD What's done is done...

Tomorrow is the bothersome one: BIOLOGY. Nobody wants to memorize like shit to pass. T.T

I just...hope for the best that I just achieve a 4 (just pass) for my paper...!

-dies-

Yes! Econs is finally over! That's one subject down! ...and 5 and a 1/2 to go...=S

Econs today was a little shit actually. Paper one, essay-format questions. We had two questions, and we chose from 1. The questions weren't that hard, but if you didn't study for them, you'd definitely fail.

So first question, price discrimination (different prices for different reasons for different people sorta shit). It's related to the big markets, like oligopoly and monopoly. I totally forgot the 3 conditions for price discrimination to happen, except that the firms must have some form of market power. THAT IS ALL I REMEMBERED. All the more I forgot about the second part. So I thought: GAH SCREW IT.

I went to the second question on macroeconomics, and that's got to do with inflation, the long-run supply curves. Now THOSE are still okay. And I looked through it again this morning, so I was quite glad that this question was alright!

And then paper two, 3 data response questions, choose 1. I chose the one with negative externalities of production. Okay with that one, except I kinda forgot what tradeable permits are. All I knew at first were like, limits issued to companies. In this case, limits (like a quota) issued to them that they can only pollute up to a certain point.

Anyway, I'm gonna go study Chinese now. So fucking screwed that one too. I have to be constantly writing FAST tomorrow. And a lot a lot to write damnit. First is a 2 hour paper, and the second paper is...1 and 1/2?! I dunno! ARGH. WISH ME LUCK FOR CHINESE TOMORROW.

Argh.

I swear I'm going to fail my Econs exams. T.T I feel like stabbing myself over and over again for not absorbing anything! DAMNIT.

I think I'm going to dieeeeeeee. FROM TOO MUCH ECONS. After my paper tomorrow, I'm gonna go home and fall asleep. I mean, gonna go home and study chinese....

I'LL ATTEMPT TO STUDY CHINESE.

但是我对明天的经济学考试根本都没有什么信心！总觉得有一点不安。。。加上中文是隔天的考试！我还没有什么读老师给我们的资料！

还有，还有！生物学！-叹气-

总而言之，过了这三天就比较轻松了。。。

Why am I writing in Chinese again?! I DON'T KNOOOOW. -screams-

WHAT THE SHIT. I JUST GOT FUCKING TRAUMATIZED FROM THIS VIDEO.

NOT FOR THE WEAK.

Next video is...about...Kabuto...>>;

I am really supposed to be studying, as according to the plan I've laid out in the previous post.

BUT I AM WRITING BYAREN INSTEAD. WHAT IS THIS.

ARGH, I CAN'T GET OVER MY OBSESSION FOR THEM!

THE NEW ENDING FOR BLEACH IS SO WONDERFUL!

I swear SunSet Swish's vocals are beyond EPIC for any guy. His falsetto is great. :D

Ah yes, for anyone who wants to watch the ending...

The Jap paper was okay today. Had alright stuffs to write, and I'll definitely pass that's one thing. Just maybe a normal pass? XD

But that's only one paper. The other paper is next week. Therefore, as according to my schedule, I'll study like this starting from today, Thursday!

Thursday: Econs
Friday: Chinese (reading loads)
Saturday: Bio (SPAM BIO!)
Sunday: Mainly econs, but will read a bit of Chinese and Bio towards the end.

Economics scare me shitless. I don't want to fail economics! argh!

I have a freakin Jap paper tomorrow which I haven't really studied for. xD

I am hoping I don't fail.

ANYWAY, my exams SRSLY begin next week. I will be stressed like fuck. And well, basically until I get over the exams, I will be studying like crazy. May post everyday to update!

Anyway, my papers are as follows, from Nov 2-6!

Monday: Higher Economics
Tuesday: Higher Chinese
Wednesday: Standard Biology
Thursday: Higher English
Friday: Standard Math Studies, Standard Japanese Ab Initio

It's easy to see that the first 3 days are CRAZY. They are the sort of subjects you'd have to mug hard for. And I'm screwed. Haven't done much this year. Now I feel like killing myself.

WISH ME LUCK EVERYONE! 8D

By the way, I left this out! Has ANYONE watched the Rock Musical Bleach at all? ANY OF IT?

Argh. If you have given up Bleach, it's understandable. But this bunch of people are so freaking awesome they are so much love. They brighten my day. o.o

Especially this one. Just watch it. There's translation and romaji to read. Song titled, "Another World", by the Protection Squad 13.

Mmmm. Been feeling pretty good today, until I sorta finished my awesome 40 minutes chat with my good friend.

And then I came home. For no reason, I could only be feeling all down and pathetic, and I sat at the chair looking at nothing in particular, thinking about nothing.

Argh. Then I lied about on the bed and broke down. I don't even know why.

THAT'S THE SECOND TIME THIS YEAR. And in such a short time-span too. I don't like it when such things happen, and the worst thing is that there is no reason for it. My friend told me once before, that there will be a point in time where you will just WANT sudden breakdown, for everything that has happened, no matter bad or good. But she stated "there will be a point in time". So, what, mine's "two points"? D:

I guess that was the moment. Then, I felt like that again after I watched a Korean drama (it's a hilarious comedy actually, they just got to the part where a couple is patching up). I mean, that part is quite sad. But after it's ended I started wanting to break down again.

That's two times today.

And, my exams are beginning. I have my very first paper, Japanese this Thursday. Wish me luck for it!

I...when I read the newest few chapters...

I...

I REALLY WONDER IF DOUMEKI HAS FUCKED WATANUKI YET. I'M SORRY I REALLY DO. I HOPE HE HAS, BECAUSE WATANUKI IS JUST BEING SO...UN-WATANUKI, HE'S JUST.

JUST SO. TASTY. DELICIOUS. FUCKABLE. WONDERFUL. FUCKABLE. EDIBLE. SCREWABLE. AND FUCKABLE.

SO IRRESISTABLE. ANY GUY (NOT NECESSARILY GAY) AROUND SHOULD ALREADY HAVE DONE HIM. AND THE ONLY ONE AROUND IS DOUMEKI.

I'm sorry, fangirling instincts kicking in. Added with watching Bleach, the ByaRen tension (WHICH ROSE TREMENDOUSLY)...

ARGH SOMEONE SAVE ME PLZ

YESH ABOUT HOLIC CHAPTER 188, NEW ONE. If you don't want spoilers just ignore this post...

SO YES. Watayuuki's first customer. She looks VERY MYSTERIOUS INDEED, almost as if she will be the one to grant him powers...

Anyone has any thoughts on this new chapter? (Watayuuki's clothes are so fucking pretty. I wonder if Doumeki has fucked him yet.)

ABOUT IB. DO YOU GUYS WANNA HEAR IT?!

IB teacher: ...we have an awful lot missing today...
-a short pause-
IB teacher: What's due tomorrow?
IB student: Math portfolio.
IB teacher: Ah, I see. -nods and goes back to teaching-

THE TIME THESE POOR PEOPLE SPEND ON MATH PORTFOLIO. So glad I'm not doing SL/HL Math...I'm doing Math Studies! 8D