Sometimes after seeing so much things in life, one reaches a point of understanding where one sees through many things. Of course, when I mean 'so much' it means beyond how much a 17-year old should really see. At least that's what I think.

I now see myself understanding a lot more than what I have been learning. Before this, all I understood was that being a student is quite lovely (as told by my mom especially), and studying is your top priority.

Now that I have been through many things, I've come to an understanding (not just knowing, but truly understanding) of what so many people meant. It's nice to be a student, especially when young because I didn't worry about so many other things. There is the joy of having friends around, spending time with them, going through studies with them, doing so many things so freely.

Now I feel I have lost so much of what 'freedom' is. The 'freedom' right now, in terms of entering adulthood, is the choice that you'll be making for yourself. The 'freedom' before, in terms of being a child, was to develop a way of thinking, that nobody can obstruct since a child is 'free' that way. The definition of 'freedom' changes so drastically as you enter adulthood, the word itself feels so foreign right now.

I am now free to do my own stuffs, already let go to do so much and accomplish things on my own. I have earned my own independence through the coming of age. Yet I still feel trapped within what I have been thinking.

I have listened to other people's problems before, and absorbed them all in, taking as much as I can in. As we get older, problems increase, which means I listen to so much more, and I realize that everyone is changing.

Though for me, I feel as if I haven't as much as taken half a step forward in life. People seem to be proceeding on with their problems, but I don't. At least I feel that I don't. I have been trying to make sense of the changes in this particular year, and so I conclude that it has been particularly eventful, this year. So much changes I don't feel like I'm myself anymore, and thus I think the 'old me' has been suppressed into somewhere else where I cannot find 'her'. Where has the carefree, happy, 'old me' gone to?

I never gave a thought about how feelings for someone else could truly change one's opinion. Now having experienced this sort of feeling, I think I could give more into this. 'give more' being giving in more thoughts, and probably actually finding a solution to this problem.

I think I have hung on to this for too long, without doing anything else. Really, I never thought of myself to have been defeated by my own feelings. Sure, I always knew that 'feelings' were strong, but not to the point of (sometimes) almost breaking me, ripping me apart. I could be exaggerating at this point, but before today's thoughts, this was how I am a couple of weeks ago: weak, breaking, pathetic.

But now I think things are different. I could take this in my stride already. I believe, at least, that I should take things in my stride, and not so much as breakdown easily. I think I already gave a thorough thought for this matter, and that even if I cannot get rid of the aching feeling within this chest of mine...I shall, still...

Accept. Embrace. Overcome.

SHALL I EMPHASIZE ON HOW GHEYGHEYGHEYGHEYGHEYGHEY THE ANIME REALLY IS?! 07-GHOST I MEAN.

WATCH IT, AND KILL YOURSELF OVER THE GAYNESS. I SWEAR IT'S EVEN GAYER THAN KKM, IF POSSIBLE.

Just asking though, WHY ARE THERE NO DOUJINS ON 07-GHOST?!?!?!?! T.T

I'VE BEEN WANTING TO SEE IT SO BAAAAAAAAAD. LOOKIE FRAU AND TEITO IN THE MANGA, THEY ARE ABOUT TO EFF EACH OTHER SENSELESS. I mean, at least Frau is. He's just being sneaky and going "ohgodthissoul" at Teito. And that dense boy hasn't even REALIZED that the freakin scythe is doing that...That ass-scythe, is going "THISSOULTASTESGOOD" and Frau's just "no bitch you can't fuckin have him".

And for goodness sake!!!! Frau's a bishop, why the hell is he pointing middle finger and being so goddamned rude?! Anyway, that makes him all the more sexier. Just...it's too inappropriate. And he's going against a Bishop's ways...Look, he's eating the soul to satisfy the scythe man.

Labrador, I swear, is effing ghey too. SOMEONE (I CANNOT REMEMBER HIS NAME) PROBABLY LOVED HIM LIKE SHIT. In the manga, that is. Read it, and you shall understand.

And CAPELLA IN THE MANGA IS SOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE~

Anymore ghey animes like this to recommend? I want to have a good laugh damnit!