Mmmm. Been feeling pretty good today, until I sorta finished my awesome 40 minutes chat with my good friend.

And then I came home. For no reason, I could only be feeling all down and pathetic, and I sat at the chair looking at nothing in particular, thinking about nothing.

Argh. Then I lied about on the bed and broke down. I don't even know why.

THAT'S THE SECOND TIME THIS YEAR. And in such a short time-span too. I don't like it when such things happen, and the worst thing is that there is no reason for it. My friend told me once before, that there will be a point in time where you will just WANT sudden breakdown, for everything that has happened, no matter bad or good. But she stated "there will be a point in time". So, what, mine's "two points"? D:

I guess that was the moment. Then, I felt like that again after I watched a Korean drama (it's a hilarious comedy actually, they just got to the part where a couple is patching up). I mean, that part is quite sad. But after it's ended I started wanting to break down again.

That's two times today.

And, my exams are beginning. I have my very first paper, Japanese this Thursday. Wish me luck for it!

Remind me to have my voice taken away from me forever. As a punishment.

Yeah well, remove the will to speak. At all.

Heck, I should never have

'I wished I could forget, but every time I shut my eyes I see your face.
And every time my heart wrenches in pain when I am reminded of you.
Why is it that you continue to haunt me so, when I want to fully forget?
Is that even possible, to completely remove of you from my memories?
If I really could do that, I'd erase all traces of you, forever and ever,
Instead of receiving the pain right now.'

This is random, because it's the all of a sudden 'spur of the moment' thing. (And I was recalled of too much Sadzaku at the end of Gayass.)

May move on to make it into a fic of some sort, in memory of Lelouch? Both boys are <3.

...even when I write this I feel myself tearing up for Lulu. D:

........EDIT: AND I MUST STOP LISTENING TO IKIMONO GAKARI'S 'FUTARI', IT'S TOO FUCKING DEPRESSING FOR ME. D: but it's so addictive i swear! <3

I am leaving my wonderful house in one week. Just one week more of staying here, and then poof! OFF I GO. T_T

I will miss this house sooooo much. I'll probably take the time during the next week to take photos of this house and then post it up for all to see. Will move to my auntie's place (which means many doggie photos! 8D) and then finally to new home, which will not be ready until end of this year.

So, how has everyone been~? By the way, I got a nice alluring Sebastian pictar! I am taking a photo of it and placing it here when I have the time. WAIT FOR IT MAH FELLOW FRIENDS. >D

Michael Jackson, you will forever be missed. You have been beyond the King of Pop, beyond even the God of Pop.

You have gone beyond being a legend.

You will live forever in our hearts, minds and souls. Your songs will continue to resonate deep within all your fans who love you.

Goodbye MJ, do rest in peace.

I fell sick right on the day of my birthday...T_T

Vomited like, 4 times yesterday, and had a rather high fever. But much better now, just completely no appetite to eat anything, so basically I probably haven't eaten anything for two days.

Indo service trip was alright, just...well, I suffered quite a bit on that trip. Other than that...I guess you could say it has been quite a success.

Dearest Mariska!

You WILL get well in a SUPER SPEEDY CRAZILY HYPER RECOVERY MODE and make sure to go PEANUT.

May the peanuts be with you forever and always, ramen.

PEANUT WOMAN. PEANUTS WILL HELP YOU RECOVER. REMEMBER, PEANUTS ARE DA BOMB.

(Well, she's my good friend, and she fell down the stairs knocking her front tooth out, so she had to be sent to the hospital. It would've been okay with just a fall, but she fell face-flat, so yeah. :S It was really shocking for the people around, but I wasn't there. And am very sad that I couldn't be there for her. Nope, not life-threatening of course, just...feeling bad because I'm her friend, and I SHOULD be there for her, but I was not. T_T)

I read Nabari no Ou, and well, planning on watching it too [got up to episode 12...] but got sick and tired of the loading. YouTube doesn't have the early episodes partly because FUNimation licensed it right on Christmas in 2008, and Veoh sucks real bad right now, and imeem is too slow!

...My connection these few days really kinda suck, so I don't plan on loading it a lot...It's gonna take me some time.

I like the new developments in the manga, 'cause it just gets better and better. Anyway, SPOILERS ALERT!!!!!!!

Gotta love Yoite [AKA Sora]. That poor boy! And him and Miharu...Gawd, if this manga/anime doesn't spell gay, I don't know what it is. Then again, Yukimi's sister did comment that [in the manga] that Yoite is neither boy nor girl. I wonder what she really means. And I think she meant it scientifically as well since she's a doctor, so I believe she could've meant that he/she's a hermaphrodite. Either that, or he/she has NONE of the parts. Is that possible anyway? ...But I feel so sad for Yoite because his existence is erased, but yet it seems like Miharu didn't do a clean job, so fragments of "that person" was left behind. And gotta love that little black cat...

END SPOILERS. SAFE TO READ NOW.

But so far, I definitely found Nabari no Ou very interesting, and rather captivating in its own way. I like how Miharu's indifference changes along the way when he is kidnapped by Yoite, and then subsequently going as far as to help that poor boy. But I like him better in the manga, since he's less useless there and can actually do something. Quote by Yukimi [commenting about Miharu] "Wow...that kid is using the Gogyou jutsu like he's eating breakfast." LOLed pretty hard at this one. Love Yukimi too! Gah...

Alrighty, rant's over. xD

I have a bad feeling that I'll probably fare worse than I did in my Prelims. This is not to mention that I screwed my Lit up and ended up demoralizing myself.

Now I don't feel like studying anymore. Goddamn, I feel like...I'm just lazyyy. I could care less about my results, but the problem is with IGCSEs, I have no other place to go other than overseas, but that would mean I should've already decided earlier on. And overseas is not the best idea right now. I really feel crap. And if I fail to get the results I want and have to repeat the year, I think I would rather stab myself to death rather than to suffer the humiliation to repeat the year.

If you can't move on means you're crap. And if I can't, I think I'm really crap. I think I'm gonna fare badly.

Argh.

Title: This Could Be the Last
Rating: G/PG, nothing at all. Just a kiss.
Genre: Romance, very slight humor [maybe bittersweet too?]
Pairing: SuzaLulu
Summary: That haunting phrase that wouldn't disappear...

I found another one. It just tells me that I cannot watch the end of Code Geass again without being reduced to tears...Whether it be the song, or just me, I loved it to bits. I am still sobbing. T_T


Not to leak it out, but I am doing a project with a couple of people on this song after my exams. So look forward to seeing the results!